During the week of Feb. 13, Granada will once again assume its annual honorific role as the “international capital of poetry,” when 117 of the world’s most gifted men and women of the plume from 59 countries will flock and flutter to The Gran Sultana for the VIII International Poetry Festival.
In Nicaragua, people like to say that everybody is as a poet, or, at very least, an “hijo de poeta” (to borrow a clever wordplay from Nicaraguan folk singer Luis Enrique Mejia Godoy). Indeed, Nicaragua has produced more than its fair share of brilliant poets—men and women of letters who have helped to make this country a more literate place.
But in a nation of nearly 6 million people, not everyone can be a good poet. Nicaragua, it turns out, also has its share of lousy poets—both those born here and those who relocated here. These are folks whose hideous hyperbole, ridiculous rhymes, senseless stanzas, mangled meter and awful alliterations—such as that found in this sentence—combine painfully into vapid verse not fit for print on a bathroom stall or, more mindless yet, a tourism brochure.
So in tribute to those of us who don’t know a sestet from a sextant, or iambic pentameter from a meat thermometer, The Nicaragua Dispatch invites its readers to send us your worst poems never written (which means you have to write them now).
The Nicaragua Dispatch will publish our readers’ putrid prose during the week of Feb. 13 in our First Annual Bad Poetry Festival.
All poems will be published, and the best one (that is to say, the worse one)—as decided by a tipsy and disreputable council of hacks—will win a Nicaragua Dispatch First Annual Bad Poetry Festival Winner T-shirt (No returns. No refunds. Not exchangeable for cash. Some restrictions may apply. Offer not valid in South Ossetia).
Sent us your submission, with the subject “bad poetry”, to firstname.lastname@example.org