A sandwich for your thoughts

Garden Café launches revolutionary quotes-for-sandwiches contest

Lao Tzu, Confucius, Albert Einstein, Maya Angelou, Yogi Berra, Tom Keifer. These are just some of quotable greats whose smaller wisdoms have illuminated the blackboard at Granada’s famous Garden Café, giving clients some food for thought as they wait for their food for stomach.

But anyone who pays much attention to the world these days has probably noticed it’s running out of good ideas. That scarcity of sapience was underscored last weekend with Bajo Pata’s blackboard gem, “Never brush your teeth” – a senseless suggestion that gives a bad name to free advice written on the wall.

Acutely aware of the declining quality of chalkboard counsel, Garden Café’s proprietors, Damien Hopkins and Xiomara Diaz, did what any reasonable people in their situation would do: turn to The Nicaragua Dispatch’s erudite readers for help (what could possibly go wrong?).

So, Gentle Reader, if you like sandwiches and you have a bit of sagacity suitable for blackboard publication to enlighten the lumpen masses, this is your chance to shine.

The Garden Café is launching its quotes-for-sandwiches contest. Give us your best quote in the comments box below, and you could be a winner! The best entry of the week, as decided by a secret committee, gets their quote written on the chalkboard at Garden Café and gets one (1) free sandwich. That way, you can eat your sandwich at the table under your quote and impress/harass passersby by pointing out your handiwork (you’ll look smart, even if you have mayonnaise on your face).

Quotes must be in good taste. Do not use offensive language or directly insult any individual or group (but you already knew that, Dear Reader). Points will be awarded based on humor, relevance and the soundness of the advice. Certain restrictions may apply (ie. you must be in Nicaragua or visiting within the next month to claim your sandwich).  


(Editor’s note: on June 26, Garden Cafe was awarded Trip Advisor’s “Certificate of Excellence” for 2012. You’re really going to want to try one of these sandwiches. Contests ends tomorrow)




  • Jack Griffin

    Integrity – doing the right thing when no one’s looking.

  • tdc782

    “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
    ― Dr. Seuss

  • Nick

    Free speech doesn’t come cheap.

  • http://www.retirenicaragua.wordpress.com Debbie

    “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” ~ Doug Larson

    Makes perfect sense to me living in Nicaragua. :-) Except, maybe it should say ‘fishing nets’ instead of fishing poles.

  • Mercedes Ortega

    “Discipline should not leave lasting scars – inside or out” ~~ (me)

    “Hillary Clinton says it takes a village to raise a child. I’ve seen the village; and I don’t want it raising my child.” – unknown

  • Dick Abrams

    Never eat anything bigger than your head.
    -Bernard Kliban

  • http://www.nicaragua-guide.com Darrell Bushnell

    Some of my favorites:

    If you have not changed your mind about something you probably have not learned anything.

    Great men are rarely good men

    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

  • http://www.la-esperanza-granada.org pauline jackson

    Children are people who didn’t get old yet.

  • Rich Antal

    Mark Twain: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

  • martin

    “Life isn’t a rehearsal”

  • Devry

    Never put anything in your ear smaller then your elbow.

    “memory impairment……..the free prize at the bottom of every Vodka bottle”…Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

  • RJP

    If humans love bacon, just imagine how much more dogs love bacon! :)

  • Melissa

    Patience is a virtue but persistence to the point of success is a blessing – Peter’s Laws

  • Mark Oshinskie

    From the croooked timber of humanity, nothing can be built which is perfectly straight.

  • kevin lockwood

    If you don’t like these ideas, I’ve got other ideas

  • http://nishantinnicaragua.blogspot.com Nishant Kishore

    Man was not born to fail. – Henry Thoreau

  • http://NicaraguaDispatch Ronnie Gay

    “To bring somebody into YOUR LIFE, take a step into theirs”

  • http://NicaraguaDispatch Ronnie Gay

    ” Sometimes FLOWERS don’t say it very well; you need to explain YOURSELF”

  • reanber

    “Laws control the lesser man, right conduct controls the greater one.” – Mark Twain

  • reanber

    “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?”

    • Gerardo

      What’s the worst day of the week? Saturday, because it is the farest away from next Saturday.

  • Jim

    Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid — John Wayne

  • Gerardo

    What is an assault to a bank compared wth founding a bank. (Proudhon)

    Especially correct today, with this Wallstreet till Frankfurt crisis and the banks’ rol in it.

  • Gerardo

    ¡Que es abigeato comparado con mantener reses! en el trópico húmedo de Nicaragua …

  • Gerardo

    Philanthropy is the enemy of justice.

    Robert Newman, The Guardian, to Bill Gates

  • http://www.granpacifica.com Kent Payne

    Cowboy Wisdom: Always sit in the middle seat if you’re in a pickup truck…..you don’t have to drive, and you don’t have to open the gate.

  • Dick Abrams

    Never eat at a place called mom’s.
    -Nelson Algren

  • Tim Rogers

    After hours of careful deliberation, secret committee has awarded Rodrigo Pallais this week’s quote-o-the-week in Garden Café’s quote-for-sandwich contest. Pallais’ award-winning quote: “If humans love bacon, just imagine how much more dogs love bacon!” was picked for its originality, its relevance to the sandwich industry (the bacon part, not the dog part), and its empathy for man’s best friend. To claim his sandwich at the Garden Café, Mr. Pallais must present an original birth certificate and three (3) photocopies validated by Minrex and the Nicaraguan Embassy in Washington, D.C. and notarized by his local CPC. Provecho! Start thinking up quotes for the next sandwich-for-a-quote contest…

  • greg kane

    “don’t let yesterday, use up too much of today”

  • chris

    You know, that cookie had a lot of good ideas.