While Sandinista authorities huddle to come up with an explanation for Saturday night’s mysterious explosion in Managua, here are 24 other mysteries we’d like clarified:
1) What really happened to the Air Force helicopter that crashed in June, 2013, killing 10 officers?
2) What really happened during the deadly ambush on July 19, 2014?
3) Who killed Yahob and Pablo Negro?
4) Who killed Alexis Arguello?
5) De donde salió Wang Jing?
6) What happened to the Costanera?
8) Where does Daniel Ortega go?
11) Who really won the 2008 election for Mayor of Managua?
12) What dirt does the government have on Padre Eslaquit?
14) How much does Roberto Rivas cost?
16) Will Laureano finally release a CD of all the Christmas/Purisima classics?
17) What happened to the first lady’s campaign “vivir lindo, vivir bonito, vivir limpio, vivir cristiano, vivir feliz, vivir #noseque”?
18) What happened to the JS-19 ecological brigade defending the Rio San Juan?
19) Seriously, where does Daniel Ortega go when he disappears for days on end?
20) What is Nicaragua Airways, and what happened to it?
21) What happened to the “Supreme Dream of Bolívar” oil refinery? (Not to mention ALBA’s plans to build a regasification plant, a fertilizer plant, two aluminum-production plants, a factory to produce industrial bags, 200,000 homes, two engineering universities, an ALBA airlines and an ALBA baseball league)
22) What’s up with those metallic, yellow curlicue trees that are sucking up energy in Managua?
23) What happened with the Nicaraguan medical students who were sent home from Venezuela without finishing their degrees?
24) Why did…nah, forget it.
25) What happened to questions 9 and 10 on this list? (apparently I count worse than Roberto Rivas does — can I get a job accompanying the CSE in the next elections?)
26) What happened to the Commission on Peace and Reconciliation? Is their work done?
27) When is the government going to get serious about respecting and protecting women’s rights? (The ban on therapeutic abortion is a disgrace, the reglamentos to Law 779 are a joke, and the government counts only 18 femicides this year while the Network of Women Against Violence report 47.)